Two-Headed Giant Rats

 The Oldest Granddaughter in Mexico needs Money again, they have a hard time making ends meet on just her income and supporting her Two Younger Sisters, Working, going to College, paying now her own Tuition since she didn't get her Scholarship renewed.  Her Mom will have some Work on Sunday, so will be able to send something, I'm Tapped Out with an increase in expenses of just about everything, so I can't help very much this time, will send something tho'.  If I were doing better Selling at the Antique Mall I could probably send something they Need with no problems, but, our Economy is flatlining and possibly falling off a Cliff in a Freefall, I'm not Optimistic about it, I'm just doing the best I can with what I have and holding the Line.

The Man will be having his 2nd Heart Surgery on the 7th, which is only Four Days away in Real Time, but, by the time this Post Publishes, will have passed.  This should Publish around or about the 8th.  We're very Hopeful he pulls thru it as well as he did the 1st One done to implant a Stent in a blocked Artery, but, even that was complex for him and very risky, we know this one will be also.  All Body Parts crossed, hoping for the Best while preparing for the Worst, you just never know how these things will play out?  I have to try to pivot with whatever may happen and still stay above Water financially and emotionally.  It's a delicate balance. So much of it beyond my Control so I have to adapt, pivot on the turn of a Dime, make a way.

When I went to pick up the Granddaughter from Work Today they had a Giant Halloween Mechanical Two-Headed Giant Rat for $7, with my Discount it cost me only $5... just hadda have it at that price even tho' the Mechanical Part probably doesn't function anymore, I don't Need it to.  I'll keep it inside coz it is a Prop that would be inclement weather sensitive coz it's got Fur and a light Wooden Frame that could get damaged by Water I would suspect.  The Heads, Feet, Tail and Scar on it's Body is a light Plastic, also could deteriorate in the Weather, so, I'm putting it inside to display.   And it's large, you can see scale by Princess T holding it, it's the size of a fairly large Dog and pretty Scary looking to some people who are Freaked Out by it.  

If placed vertically it would be as Tall as she is Heads to end of Tail!  At a "Spirit Store" or other Halloween Outlet something like this would cost $225 coz I found it Online For Sale New!  I discovered the Two back Feet are missing and the Controller, I don't mind, for $220 less, since, you can't tell when it's displayed.  It's pictured further Below.  Very Happy to have Scored it, tho' Storing it will take up some Shelf Space in The RV Garage Mahal, it's worth it to have those higher end prop decorations I wouldn't be able to otherwise afford and wouldn't spend that much on even if I could.   I also got some Snake Earrings {also pictured further Below} and a cute little Altered Art Doll Pendant Necklace made of Buttons, Felt and Metal parts that are articulated {also pictured further Below}.   Excuse my dirty Fingernails, I'd been Planting stuff and doing dirty jobs around the House before picking her up.  *LOL*

Princess T said Work went pretty well this day tho' she said everyone is on Edge due to recent Firings of really exceptional Employees.  Plus, they're struggling to fill Positions and keep Newbies, most of which wash out before Probation is over and would take quite some time to have the same experience and tenure of who they've eliminated.  It's not good Optics for any Business if Employees feel there is no Future for them there, they won't retain good people or attract them.  As Gung Ho as my Granddaughter usually is, she's getting Frosty about how they've already treated the best Workers, and she feels she'll get Fired thru no fault of her own, so, she's resigned herself to that inevitability already.  No way she can NOT get Sick again, she has Chronic Health Issues, it's gonna happen that she'll be too Sick to go in and cross that threshold they've established of one more missed day and you're Fired.  She feels like no amount of Working with Excellence or dedication to your Work therefore matters to Upper Management.  And clearly it doesn't, she's not Wrong.

She's almost Saved up enuf for her 1st Vehicle Purchase tho' and that will give her more Options and autonomy to find Work anywhere so she's not reliant on me for her Transportation.  I need her Work to be close for obvious reasons.  She wants to get enuf of a Deal on a Car that she has Savings in place to pay for several Months worth of Insuring it too.  The Monthly Jobs Number isn't looking good and is a serious concern of a lot of Americans, as is the State of the Economy.  Doesn't matter if the Stock Market for AI Investors is doing well when most Americans aren't benefitting from that at all and it translates to more Bad News for Average Citizens.  

Our Farmers are requiring Big Bailouts, they have Crops they can't Sell to anyone so they're Screwed... and we're also doing a 20 Billion Dollar Deal of Bailing Out Farmers from Argentina who are Selling their Soybeans to China becoz we can't... so American Farmers and American Taxpayers are being doubly screwed over by the Tariffs imposed, it's not Solving anything.  It was Bad Policy before, its just Worse Policy now.  And just enables the Bigger Grift of this Administration since when other Countries come begging for leniency in the Tariffs imposed they usually leave with Donnie Two Dolls owning a 10% Equity in their Business... so, he's still only interested in lining his own Pockets, not helping Americans or our inflating National Debt under his Leadership.  

He spends and wastes Money more than almost anyone ever Historically speaking, which is why he Bankrupted his own Businesses so many times and is working on Bankrupting America.  Perhaps even making the American Dollar worthless and collapsing it intentionally, so he can replace it with Crypto & Bitcoin... that he has a big stake in now and can do a lot of questionably shady shit thru the use of?  Best way to erase the Debt is to erase the Currency owed... just sayin'.   It would take a tectonic shift in the Global Financial System, but it's happened before in the 1920's when the Dollar replaced the Pound as the Global Reserve Currency... and again in the 1970's when we went off the Gold Standard.  I'm just speculating on a lot of what could be the reasons for such apparent intentional Bad Decisions being made that otherwise make no Economic Sense whatsoever.  And I smell a Giant Rat every time this Regime makes a Play, they're all on The Grift.

Speaking of Giant Rats talking out of both sides of the Mouth or Heads... winks... Below is the Pixs of mine and the Post Title Hook Topic.  It's pretty gross and Princess T HATED it and didn't really wanna hold it too long.  *LOL*   Some of her Co-Workers were actually Scared of it.  Above are my articulated Snake Earrings they had too.  They had a matching Snake Bracelet the other day and I Passed on it and regret doing so now, coz someone else Scored it.   I have kept Purchases down that aren't Essential, I think most people are, and those of us who are Feelin' it in Retail settings since we're Sellers too, know folks have pumped the brakes on spending.  I haven't even dared check my Sales for the first Week of this Pay Period yet.  Last Pay Period was so abysmal I barely got by without Owing the Mall, even with Selling Product and Working a Shift!!!  When I go in to Stores I ask how they're doing and the response is the same everywhere, not great.

I did stock our Pantry and Freezers like I did to get thru Pandemic Shortages.  Best Case Scenario it wasn't as necessary, but, I'll still have a supply that cost me less than it will later.  Worst Case Scenario, if it's worse than expected I may not have stockpiled enuf?  And prices will soar to where a lot of things won't be as affordable and are grossly inflated in price.   Gas right now in Arizona has gone way up, almost to Four Bucks a Gallon... about $3.15 is apparently the National Average, we're always higher than the National Average.   But some States like Cali are way higher than us.   Our reliance of Cali Refineries is why our prices are higher in the West since we have stricter Fuel Standards. 

*******

Happy Autumn... Dawn... The Bohemian

Diversity ~ Equity ~ Inclusion

 The Normal amount of Post Views has apparently resumed and I'm glad about that, not all that fond of Web Crawlers and what they may be up to?  Today the New VA Nurse whose supposed to be the permanent one is coming and The Man is agitated and wound up tighter than a 7-Day Clock about it.  I'm hoping he calms down before she arrives and isn't contrary and difficult from The Jump?   He really like the temporary Nurse and we'd of liked to have just kept her.  Alas, we couldn't.  And I'm being very Optimistic we'll be sent another good Nurse from her Agency, which is subcontracted with the VA.  She was an excellent Representative of her Agency.

 She told us the Name of the New Nurse and it sounds like a Foreign Name too, so I'm hoping her English is fluent enough there won't be a communication barrier for The Man?  He's not good with Accents at all, he never could understand my Mom or my Welsh Uncle in all the Years he knew them, I'd have to Translate. *LOL*  With the TBI and Dementia he gets confused sometimes if you're speaking perfect English to him, so it just makes it harder if there's a foreign to him Accent being spoken.  The previous Nurse was of an African Immigrant Family, but a 1st Generation American, so her English was completely devoid of any Accent except a typical American one.  I would be hard pressed to have pronounced her first or last Name correctly tho'.  *LOL*

One of The Man's previous Cardiologists was from Africa and he had all his Patients just call him Dr. Kiki... coz his actual name was Dr. Bonifasiyo Ssennyamantono... now that was a mouthful, and I guess Kiki was a Nickname?   *Smiles*  He was a very good Cardiologist and we liked him, but he had to transfer The Man to Dr. Singh, who is East Indian, becoz he does more Specialized Heart procedures for higher risk Patients like The Man is.  Every single Specialist any of us has seen for the past several Years has been from another Country originally.  We are apparently needing to attract Specialized Medical Doctors from Abroad it seems and most Nursing Staff also are Immigrants now too. 

 The Nurses told my Mom and I Years ago, that they were Solicited from their Home Countries to come Work in America, coz of the Nursing Shortages here, and told if they came it would be a Pathway to Citizenship.   Now, if you remember, many other Companies have done the same, which is Why that one Hyundai -LG Battery Factory had the numerous {over 300} South Korean Workers detained and deported in a Raid by ICE, even tho' they'd been Solicited to come here Legally on Work VISA's and Train American Workers!!!   We are not doing ourselves a Service by alienating all the Fine Skilled Workers who are willing to come to America and provide much needed Skills, fill positions we have Shortages of American Workers to fill, and to Train our own Citizens how to do the Work.

  Many Scientists, Doctors, Healthcare Professionals, Food Industry Workers of all kinds in our Food Chain and Hospitality Industry, Construction and other Workers in the Trades, are no longer Home Grown.  To imagine otherwise is not only naive, but deeply in Denial that the fabric of America and what built this Nation into Greatness came from a diversity of peoples from all over the World and always has.  I Welcome DEI since Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is beneficial to our Country.  Promoting the Fair Treatment of and full participation of people from a wide range of backgrounds is not a Negative or Bad thing this Regime is making it out to be. 

 You have to be very insecure about yourself and what you bring to the Table, to imagine that to treat every Human Being inclusively and with equity is somehow gonna be harmful or detrimental to you personally, to provide a place at said Table for everyone or anyone not like you.  I'm confident enuf in my Abilities and what I bring to the Table to not feel the least bit threatened by anyone else having equal inclusion at attaining the American Dream along with me and mine.  I rejoice when anyone has a Success and can attain a good Life for their Loved Ones and a decent way of Life that I'd expect to have for myself and my Loved Ones too.  I'm Grateful for each Individual that contributed to our Country and made it what I Love so much about it. 

 But sadly DEI became the Red Meat Bait and Dog Whistle for MAGA World to try to do away with and get Hatefully Ginned Up and Frosty about.   And therefore, I wanted and Needed to do a Post Title Hook about it and bring it up as a Blog Topic.  Not having civil dialogue and the ability to get along and play well with others is precisely why America is falling apart right now, so deeply divided and extremely polarized, being in such Trouble the whole World is Witnessing it's Meltdown and destruction from within.   Nobody had to attack us from external Sources when we're attacking ourselves.   When we have made our Neighbors and fellow Americans our perceived Enemies, due mostly to Political Partisan Theater and Religiously Theocratic Extremist Views trying to Oppress, Vilify and Dehumanize the rest of us.

I fully Support your Right to Vote for whoever you choose to and to Worship as you choose to as well.  I just do NOT Support your Agenda to violate my Rights, to Vote and have my Voice Heard, to Worship or not Worship as I choose to, to have Autonomy over my own Body, and to live in Peace, with Dignity and Respect, regardless of my Ethnicity, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Country or Ancestry of Origin, Abilities or Disabilities, Age, etcetera, so on and so forth.   What you want for yourself you should also want for anyone else if you're a decent Human Being and your Best Self is being projected outwards to Society. 

  If you profess to be a Godly and Spiritual Being, ACT like it, show by your Actions that you do have Godliness IN you.  Becoz if Hate is displacing that, you Need to reassess your brand of Religion perhaps, coz it's toxic and has been perverted, it's NOT bearing Good Witness, that's for damned certain.   I'm Offended actually, as a Christian, to have these Hateful Cruel Christians professing to be the same as anyone who actually and sincerely follows Jesus Christ's Teachings and represents the Faith.   I think any Extremist Violent Offshoot of any Religion actually bears a Bad Witness for their entire Religion and it's a shame that it does.   Every Religion has sadly suffered it's share of Zealots and Bad History that really had no form of Godliness about them.  They are Scarier and more Devilish than anything Halloween Holiday Frights could offer us.

  And, tho' I'm a deeply Spiritual Person, I don't particularly like Organized Religion for that reason, a lot of it has been poorly Represented and perverted by it's worst Followers.   I totally Respect the Rights of my Atheist and Agnostic or Pagan Friends to follow their own Paths as well in their Journey of Life.  It's their prerogative to have as much Free Will expressed as I do and have it Respected as their Choice, not to be interfered with by any of us.  If any Religion Needs to be Forced upon someone, against their Will, it's likely Cultish in Nature, coz the difference between a True Religion and a Cult is what happens when you try to Leave or NOT follow it.   MAGA is definitely a Cult and it's Members display all the Signs of Cult Devotion and being Mind Fucked.

 

But, Moving On, since I know my Dear Readers are Kindred Spirits and so I'm Preaching and Venting to the Choir here.  *Winks*   I don't presume to be out here in Cyberspace Changing Hearts & Minds of the MAGA Afflicted, I think that would likely take Professional Help in Deprogramming for most of them?   Those that aren't beyond Help I do Hope they get some.  My Niece just called last Night to tell me that incredulously her Dad, who she's been Estranged from since about 2016, mostly due to his Politics and acting Mental himself, called and apologized to her and said he'd been so Wrong and regrets now Voting for this Madman... Twice!   And I do have one Co-Worker Friend from Work who said the same thing to me a Month ago, and he apologized to me too for being so misled for so long, Two Terms long.   

So, a few are finally realizing, this is just way too Abnormal, Disturbing, Mental and Dangerous to keep Supporting or Following, it's gone completely Wheels Off from what they mebbe Imagined it would or could be.   It's not Solving any Problems or offering Sane Solutions, it's Creating them daily now.   And personally, I do suspect those who are confessing they were Wrong have known it now for a while but Pride and being Humiliated to admit it, had kept them from saying so openly or publicly?   I could be Wrong, but considering the Friend at Work, I don't think so actually.  I know he has Strong Views and Opinions about some things that we've always openly civilly agreed to disagree upon.  He was definitely fed up with Politics as Usual, since it's broken and wasn't working for anyone but the Politicians.  

 

He wasn't ready to become a Moderate or an Independent, he saw no point in that, which, can't say I blame him, I've been a Moderate Independent always and our Voice is never Heard or Represented Politically in this Two Party System.  Even tho' we ARE now the Majority of Voters, it makes no Sense to have no suitable Representation for us too.   Anyway... enuf of Politics, I'm so Sick of Politicians and the Far Right Fundie Religious folk with their Posturing and Politics, they're simply exhausting.    The New VA Nurse just called, she has a very thick Accent that is definitely African and probably a 1st Generation Immigrant, unlike the other Young Lady who was probably Raise here, mebbe even Born here and so has probably always had English as a predominant Language.  I was Worried only becoz The Man looked at me and asked if I can understand her well enuf to Translate if necessary?  I think I will be, her English is fluent, just a heavy African Accent, which, I've become accustomed to becoz we have a large Population of African Immigrants in our Community.

Most speak some African Dialect and others speak French as their First Languages, depending upon which Country they hail from.   Most here in Phoenix are from Somalia, the Congo, Ethiopia, Nigeria and French Guyana.     But, most Top Three Countries in Metro Phoenix that Immigrants hail from are Mexico {25.6%}, India {5.9%} and Canada {4.5%}.   And the percentage of Foreign Born Residents from all Countries locally is 50.4%, 14% in the whole United States.  We have a significant Population from about 50 different Countries in our Urban Setting here, the vast majority of which are here Legally and many have lived in the United States now a long time so aren't "New".   My own Mom was Foreign Born and an Immigrant, she lived in America Legally for over 60 of her 84 Years on Earth.  Some Americans still resented THAT, you'll always get some who are Xenophobic no matter how long an Immigrant has lived here and Contributed to Society in Positive and enriching ways. 

So, anyway, New Nurse will be here in about 30 Minutes and The Man seems much Calmer than he was earlier this Morning.  I set the Mood for Tranquility, have a nice Scented Candle Burning that is a Nag Champa Blend, which has known benefits of producing a Sense of Well Being.  It's why a lot of Churches and Temples use it actually.   I have Votivo's "Forgotten Sage" in our Boudoir area, since that's my all time Favorite Candle and Room Spray Scent.  Hard to find that Scent now tho' by "Votivo", the same with Gold Canyon Candles, since they went Belly Up during the Pandemic, so when I find any of it from either Company, I order or Buy as much of it as I can afford.  *Le Sigh*

The Daughter may have another Cleaning Job soon, she's been doing Work for Roy, along with her Boyfriend helping with that, but it's not been steady enuf Work for either of them.  He's at least Qualified for 90 Days worth of Nutritional Assistance tho' and said he's gonna assist her in Qualifying for hers too.   She's still skittish about me taking her to Social Security to re-apply for SSI, since, tho' it's been over 20 Years now since she was on SSI, she vividly recalls how stressful and Triggering the whole Process was for her.   Her Paranoia went into overdrive and I don't wanna Trigger her Schizophrenia since she's been doing so good/well lately and not had major Episodes like she used to have.  I don't wanna risk going back to trying to Manage that level of Mental Instability becoz it was Impossible and she HAD to be Institutionalized often when it gets that Bad.  It's not worth risking to MEBBE Qualify for a Disability Check from the Government.

I choose my Battles Wisely these Days coz there's only so much Crazy I can Manage, Handle and appropriately Deal with here at The Asylum.  There's just too many Residents here of them.  *Winks*  I don't think a small Check that isn't a Livable amount anyway to cover all their Costs, that you might not even get parsed out to Help Support them, is worth the Risk involved in making a Mentally Unstable Person go Off Rails coz the Process is too much of a Gauntlet for them to Handle and get through.   Until she has a Peace about going, I'm not Forcing it coz the Help we tried to get her already, we didn't get any and were Declined.  Why?  Not coz she isn't Crazy enuf... but coz they claimed we BOTH were too Unstable for the Program and Services they offered for those with Serious Mental Illness!!!  *LOL*   

Yeah, we still Joke about it coz I wasn't even Applying or being Evaluated, or so I thought anyway... I was there as her Advocate and Emotional Support System, in case she Melted Down during a Three Hour Eval!  She only didn't, she said, coz she was so Amused that they were Evaluating ME too and I didn't even realize it!!!  So she thought that was so fucking hilarious that she couldn't even be so bothered by the whole Ordeal.  *LMAO*  Apparently they thought I was as Bad Off as her, which, well, they could be Right, I didn't think so, but, I could be Wrong, what can I say?   She finds it highly Amusing that I don't think I'm so Crazy... coz she is more Aware that she is now, tho' she didn't used to be either.  *Bwahahaha*   And Yes, they will Decline you if you're too fucked up and Mental, it's not Cost Effective for them, you're too expensive.   We've not had that Decision be our First Rodeo with The System saying you can have TOO MUCH Need, so they just won't give you any Assistance, Benefits or Services at all!!!  Come back when you're more Stable... or a lot more Medicated... AS IF... *Shakes Head while Laughing as we leave.*

I always Share our Experiences with the Mental Health System and the Healthcare System, so that anyone else going thru the Gauntlet of it doesn't feel so much like the Lone Ranger.   And so that anyone not familiar with it and Clueless, doesn't think it's just that easy to receive Help, Services, Qualify for a damned thing if you're not Flavor of the Month.  Or they didn't have big Federal Budget Cuts making even less to parse out to the high demand Needed, and many will be disqualified from receiving for one reason or another.  It changes all of the time, so you never really know the Criteria of the Moment, or Qualifying Factors of The Now, and Tomorrow it could be totally different, so it's like playing the Lottery.  And you know how often you Win at that... so, your Odds aren't much better with The System actually.   The uninformed think it's just so easy to get Benefits... and for the imaginary folks they think Scam it in droves.  They gotta be a highly skilled Scammer to get thru this here System in place, that I will fucking tell ya!!!  Legitimate Applicants can't even get theirs most of the time and are Denied and must Appeal endlessly.

But, the Urban Myths abound still... just like the Myth and Lies that Illegal Undocumented Immigrants can Qualify for Benefits, they can't.  The only Law in place from the 1980's is for Emergency Services to be provided for everyone in a Medical Emergency Situation.  And that was put in place when Reagan, a Conservative, was President.   And if you're of the ilk that thinks a Human Being having a Medical Emergency should be denied Care for said Emergency for any reason, you're an Inhumane and Twisted Fuck, that's all I have to say about  you, I couldn't be any more Clear about my stance on that matter.   Even an Animal having a Medical Emergency and suffering or potentially Dying, should receive adequate immediate Care, let alone a Human Being.

The VA Home Nurse just left, she was a very pleasant Older Woman, The Man couldn't understand her very well but I could, her English was excellent, the Accent is what got him, she definitely has an African lilt to her English.  *LOL*   She was very Kind and said we're doing quite well given our Situation, such that it just is.  She sorted out some things for us that were still confusing, seems the Meds he is on he should be on, no discontinuation of any of them from the VA thus far.  I did find out he's been dumping his Newer Rx into his Older Bottles, so now he's not allowed to handle his own Meds.  He wants to do stuff for himself, but slowly and patiently he's being asked to relinquish those things he's muddling up to us to do FOR him.  She wants him to do what he still can do for himself, but what he cannot anymore, he has to relinquish and have the Present Help from Family and the Home Nurse.  He's stubborn, so, it's a Process.

 It's hard for him, he likes to think he's still a little bit Independent and Free Thinking about what he has to do or Needs to do.  His Pride gets in the way.  But, clearly it's diminished to a point now where he can't be allowed to and that is a difficult transition for any Senior.  Been there, done that with my Parents, they fight you every step of the way and he is too.   Now The Daughter and I will handle all Meds, period, he isn't allowed becoz he's too confused about it now and might overmedicate, under-medicate or overdose himself.  He has to now do the taking of any Meds or Shots in the Presence of another Family Member and never do it Alone or without another set of Eyes to verify what he's doing and getting into.  His Safety Prompts keep increasing but we get compliance once it's his Routine he's used to. 

The Nurse took my Blood Pressure and Oxygen Levels even tho' she didn't have to.  She said with all I'm responsible for as Primary Caregiver, for more than a few Loved Ones, she's Amazed my Blood Pressure isn't Sky High, it's Low and my Countenance is High, my Oxygen was Excellent, she said I must have Nine Lives like a Cat!  Which was a Kind way of saying she was Surprised I wasn't Dead yet!  *LOL*  She would expect me to be faltering a lot more, so she commended me on what I'm holding up and keeping together here in more Order than she would be expectant of with most Clients who have less to Manage.  I liked her, she was Funny, but no nonsense, not pushy, just very Helpful and explained things well.   She could see he was Anxious and a bit contrary and very Guarded, but she finessed him with Patience, Kindness and a Sense of Humor, she was like that Favorite Older Aunty you might have in the Family who just wants what is Best for you.

  She changed our Visits to a Tuesday from now on... which Works for me better actually.   She liked that I wanted to Learn to do everything rather than let her take over, since she said you never know when the VA will cease Services and it's important I can take over whatever she's doing for him and for us as a Family.   She said she leaves it up to the Client, they're in Charge and some want her to do it all FOR them, but, she knows that if she can't come anymore, they're then Dead in the Water for doing it themselves becoz they became too reliant on the Help.  I know that come Nov. 1st there's a chance we won't Qualify for the Home Nursing anymore.  So I want to get as much Present Help to do for ourselves and have it running smoothly as I possibly can, until he Qualifies for something else.  Veteran's Services are cut all the time, regardless of which Administration is in the White House, but with this one, it's particularly being slashed and upended.

*******

Abundant Autumn Vibes be yours... Dawn... The Bohemian

Operatives Of Unknown Origins

 In Real Time the Posts that just Published, Two of them, are back down to normal viewership Numbers, which are presentable Stats, but not Crazy high.  The Web Crawlers that were showing up and making it look like Thousands of Views per Post was just really unsettling to me, I didn't like it.  Since, I didn't understand the sudden Interest in showing up to our Blogs, especially in such outrageously high Numbers?   You always expect some Human Lurkers, mebbe the occasional Trolls now and again, or a random Bot... but those Web Crawler Numbers were super High and I found that deeply disturbing.  It felt like Thousands of Spies had been sent out into The Land to gather Data on us for unknown Purposes and Secret, perhaps nefarious, Agendas.  Yes, I am cynical like that and highly suspicious when shit like that suddenly happens and we don't know Why?

I'd rather nobody show up than a bunch of Operatives of Unknown Origin.  *LOL*   Yes, we Welcome everyone to our Blogs coz it is a Public Social Media Outlet, and there's really nothing so Special about any of us or what our Blog content is, so, it was just super Weird.  I was taking Note of which Posts had the most outrageous Numbers and then re-reading them myself to try to fathom, just WTF?!  *Bwaahhaha*   I mean, they all had gone into Thousands of Views, but the CDC being Gutted Post was in the Stratosphere... as was the Post Hook Title of Taking that to the Bank.  Things that make ya go humnnnnn... Trigger Words like CDC and Bank... that's Interesting.  *Raised Eyebrow*  The least views was for the Trigger Word of this President's Surname... apparently even Spy Bots don't want to hear more about that Fucker, I dunno?  *LMAOROTF*  It had Hundreds of Views, but not Thousands, so, even here in The Land Of Blog he can't attract a Crowd!  *Winks and LOL*

Listen, I do dangle my Blog Post Title Hooks enticingly to draw some Interest in a Post, that's Why they're called Hooks, they're Bait.  *LOL*  And you do know that certain Words are gonna be more of a Draw than others, some Topics will Reel 'em in way more than others.  The Darker a Post is, or the Worst News or Topics you can Share, the higher the Views.   Folks do like them a good Train Wreck, Controversy, Rant, Salacious Scandal or Gossip.   The Fluff Posts don't fare well usually, we all know this, it's a Yawnfest for most folks to Read about something Uplifting and frivolous.   Tho', the Real Life stuff, whether Good or Bad, always beats out anything not authentic.   If you're sanitizing everything before you roll it out, chances are, nobody is Believing you and buying into the Fictional Story being presented as if it was Real Life.

Everybody knows Facebook got to where it wasn't Real anymore, everyone was putting Filters on all their Photos and only showing off the hi-lights of Life.  Or... there were the Black Cloud Posters who were such a Downer and needing, desperately craving, so much Attention, that it was pathetic and personally I just can't.  I have to Block or Unfriend you if you go down that Path too often and now it fails to incite Pity and just arouses Irritation, Stop it already!!!  Knock it off!!!  Don't put every piece of dirty laundry out there while you're in a fucking Mood and Upset, then think that the Persons you just had an Online Feud with are gonna now wanna Play Nice and be all Forgiving, what WERE you even thinking?!   I see whole Families, Relationships and Friendships compromised by such unnecessary Dramatics and Immature histrionics between certain people.   Then they wonder why their Life goes to shit and everyone's avoiding them.

I use The Book Of Faces to keep in Touch mostly with my closest Relationships of Friends and Family and Share Imagery with one another.  So, I'm not necessarily Reading the Postings where someone is mad at so-and-so in the Moment, is unable to Mood Regulate like an Adult, and trying to drag other people into the fray.   We're not in Jr. High School, Grow Up!!!   I'm there to see a Pix of you, your Kids, your Dog or Cat, where you just went on Vacation, Celebrations and Milestones you had, or perhaps what you are going thru that is truly Important to Know and be Supportive of or give sincere condolences for... not the Drama and a Headache you're Creating in your Life or Inviting constantly.   There are a scant few folks who we're close to that can be like that, I just don't keep them on a Live Feed.  Coz Fuck, that would be exhausting!!!  *LOL*

Most people we know in Real Life don't even Blog or know what a Blog even is and I'm Fine with that too.  This is a whole different Community and I Like it that way.   For a brief time some of the people I knew in Real Life had a Blog too.  I found that even tho' I knew and liked these folks in Real Life, their Blogs didn't necessarily translate to me liking their Blogs tho', it happens.  *LOL*   I had a scant few Friends who did Follow my Blog regularly and we'd discuss my Posts when they'd Read one and wanted to weigh in on whatever I'd Written or Shared.  They were not Bloggers themselves, but did like The Land of Blog as just being Dear Readers.  Mostly they were such Kindred Spirits that my Blog content was something they actually enjoyed on The Regular.  The Two Closest Friends who were avid Dear Readers of the ole' Blog too, now are deceased and I miss our talks about Blogs and Blogging.

  One was a fellow Extreme Caregiver... who Died before the Husband she was a devoted Caregiver of and her Daughter had to take over until he finally Died too.  The other was a Dear Co-Worker who was just very Close to my Family and knew I Shared things here that I don't always Share in Real Life.   I'm more Private in Real Life, imagine that... I Blog about everything and anything here.  *Bwahahaha*   Anyway, both Friends were so unexpectedly taken that I remained in Shock for a very long time about their sudden Deaths.  I'd talked to each of them only Hours before they expired suddenly!!!   Life can end on the turn of a Dime like that for some, others linger and it's expected for a long time before it actually happens.  Mortality is unpredictable like that.  I miss both of those Friends so much and sometimes it's so hard to Believe they've been Gone as long as they have now.  We became even Closer due to our Land of Blog visits.  This Community is Special like that.

I do sometimes wonder what happened to folks in Real Life and in The Land Of Blog that I've lost touch with?  I do Hope they're all Well, but, once someone goes Off the Grid you never really know for sure unless someone else informs you of whatever you didn't know about.  Sometimes I don't think I wanna know, if it's Bad News, you know?   With some folks there's so much Shared History until there just isn't anymore.  Others will be in Touch and Close for a Lifetime.  Others go On and Off The Grid like a Yo-Yo.   I do always suspect the Yo-Yo folks lead a Double Life that you only know in part?   No matter how long you Think you've Known them.  I've known some folks that cycle in and out of everyone's Lives every so many Years.  Disappearing suddenly and going Off Grid, then materializing after long absences and yet, as if nothing has happened and picking up where they left off YEARS ago.  It's very Strange, I don't Ask and they don't Tell.   I can only speculate.  *Winks*

I was wading thru Photo Archives and ran across some way back Blasts from the Past I'd completely forgotten I had of Friends and Family.   When I look at some of the "Adopted Relatives" of Old Photos I have Rescued of other folk's Families and Friends that they tossed and now someone has altered for Halloween Props, I can only say I Hope that never happens to our Old Photos of Loved Ones.   I enjoy my Prop Photos, which are Fun, but I do wonder whatever happened that the Families and Friends got to a place where they discarded the Old Pixs like Trash, or they somehow ended up hawked in some Antique Store, Chazza, or Boutique?   Way Below in this Post are some Old Pixs of Family, the ones I Cherish are of Grandparents that were very Superstitious about having their Photos taken and so very few even Exist of my Paternal Grandparents and my Maternal Gran-Gran.  Each of their Cultures being very wary of being Photographed and so they're always so somber in the few Images ever taken, like it was Stealing their Souls.

The ones of my Welsh Gran-Gran I didn't realize I had been given.  I think my Welsh Uncle sent them to me to be the Keeper of when he got to be in his late 80's.   Since he had so few of his Father, my Gran-Gran didn't like being Photographed, and my Uncle's Sons probably wouldn't have Preserved them like he knew I would?   There's also one I was given by a Paternal Aunt's Kin when she passed, that was in some of her Photo Albums they didn't want.   My Aunt was a long time Widow and thus lived with my Uncle first and then my Dad, since, Culturally Brothers took Care of Single or Widowed Sisters as was Custom to.   I hadn't realized there was one of my Maternal Native American Grandma in formal Western Clothing.  Stark White Stockings which made her heavily Tribally Tattooed Legs look like White Legs on a Dark Woman, and long Sleeves which covered up her heavily Tribally Tattooed Arms too, her very long Dark Hair tied back, looking very Westernized and not like herself.  She looks quite uncomfortable and unnatural in such austere Westernized attire.  She definitely did not like her Photograph taken.

    

 

She's standing with her last Husband, she had Married a White Man later in Life, after outliving her much Older Indigenous Husband, and long after my Dad was Grown and in the Military.  I remember her White Husband was originally from Arkansas and talked funny and very slow, with a thick Southern drawl.  He was 6'7" Tall, a very Big intimidating looking Man, told us to call him Pappy.   We met him for the first time on the Reservation in the early 1970's, he was a Man of fewer Words than even my Grandmother, so, not much was said.  They made for a very unusual and unlikely looking Couple.   She'd had a very hard Life, Married Off as a Tween, and so was a very hard Stoic unemotional Woman who always looked so stern, and to me, Scary.  I was literally Afraid of her and I could tell she looked at me with disapproval, since I'm her least Indigenous looking Grandchild and some Tribes don't approve of and shun the Mixed Race among them.  

She didn't much like White People, and I was really surprised she Married one.  She really didn't approve of nor like my Mom at all, who Dad's Family thought was a scary Welsh Witch who'd Hex them all. *LOL*  Mom didn't like Dad's Family either, she didn't understand the Culture and way of Life and she sure wasn't living on a Reservation after having visited one!!!   I don't blame her, first time I went there I had complete Culture Shock too, no running Water, most still didn't have Electricity, not very Welcoming of any Non-Natives... I "Get It", but, it wasn't very comfortable either and I remember being on Edge if I wasn't with a Paternal Relative while there.   The same Vibe is here when you visit any of the Reservations actually.  Just spend Money at the Casinos and don't stray or get out of the Vehicle, that's the Warning you'll get even from the Tribal Police in some Tribe's Sovereign Nations.   Some Tribes being more Sensitive about anyone on their Land whose not a Tribal Member.

 

The Son jokes that tho' he's got many Friends from various Tribes, and he's got a Navajo Girlfriend, he won't go drinking with his Indian Male Friends on the Rez even when they Invite him to.   He's just not "Indian Enough" and doesn't want anyone getting so loaded they will give him the side-eye for being of Mixed Race, and think playing Football with his Head might be where the Night is ending?   His Girlfriend wants to take him to her Reservation to meet the rest of the Family, but he is hesitant coz the Navajo Rez is vast and he doesn't know how far in her Relatives live there?  *LMAO*   She thinks it's Funny, but, I told her last time I was on the Rez with The Man, we found a Human Jawbone Roadside! And the Special Team the Reservation Police sent out there to try to find the rest of whoever it was, told us they'd found numerous Human Remains out there and had NINE Missing Persons in that Area Alone, so, don't ever get out of your Vehicle.  We've not been back since, The Man was like, Honey, I didn't know the Rez was that dangerous, so, don't expect me to ever go visit any of your Dad's Relatives now, Okay?  *LOL*

And now Below are the Rare Images of the Two Grandparents from each side of the Family who Hated having their Pixs taken.  And one of Yours Truly at the Age I was when I last visited my Dad's Reservation.  And only the Year before that was the last time I visited my Mom's Family in North Wales as well.  Neither being a part of my "World" really, you're in that Interracial/Intercultural Limbo of sorts, and so I always felt between Worlds and Cultures in either.  Tho' Proud of both Heritages, I realized early on that each considered me neither fully Welsh nor fully Indian.  Connected by Bloodlines, but not 100% a part of either one.  And Society tends to want to define each of us... and when they can't... and you don't fit into a Category handily, it's often problematic for a lot of them.

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You can be comfortable with who you are, but it doesn't mean everyone else will be... that's just how life plays out... Dawn... The Bohemian